Day 290 - Valentines Away
Platformer, WTF, Bangers ·
Skeeter’s Take:
I’m glad /\The Facts/\ is keeping the spirit of the Xbox 360 gamertag alive.
I also respect that the game launcher is auto-set to “Very Low” graphics quality when the graphics look like this:
Perhaps it’s the recommended graphic quality stylistically rather than for performance.
I love that you play this miserable sad sack character that is so miserable because of the overwhelming love they are constantly receiving:
And who can blame ‘em? I’d probably look just like that if every mailbox, bird, and every stupid waving person threw giant swarms of manifestations of valentine’s hearts at me until I passed out. I think I’m getting closer to understanding gangstalking thanks to Valentines away.
Good thing if you run left, you find someone with the same curse as yourself, but more importantly, a bunker to provide shelter from love and your torture:
I think there is more “content” I could have seen had I ran right, but I was “content” with not doing that.
Recommend: /\/ /\
Replay Percentage Chance: /\
Time Played: /\ \/ // \/\ \ /\ \
Sam’s Take:
Skeeter was the first to write, so he chose the title image for this game. It looks like he went for the image used as the itch.io thumbnail. A totally normal and acceptable choice, but I do think it’s worth showing you the actual title screen because it’s hard as fuuuuuck:
Also there is some insane Cruelty Squad music playing on this screen. There’s something up with this game. I don’t know what it is but the blorpin’ soundtrack combined with the hunchback protagonist jumping over hearts has a strange grungy feel that might even be intentional. Even the terrible white filter they put over the game to indicate how hurt you are just seems too awful to be an accident:
I tried looking at the dev’s other games, but there were none. Dropped this in 2019 and never looked back. Who know what they’ve moved on to, but if you’re curious about what happens if you go right after Skeeter’s review, you get on a boat and then this happens:
I think I like this one.
Recommend: Yea
Replay Percentage Chance: 1%
Time Played: 15 Minutes
NOTE: My wife picked this one out for us. She said I had to tell everyone.
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