Day 55 - Arson Frog 2
Dating Sim, Short and Free, Nudity ·
Skeeter’s Take:
I don’t go on (m)any dates these days. I’ve decided to spend most of my days this year inside, hunched over my computer searching for free or cheap video games on the internet in order to write about them once a day. It’s not exactly a great way to meet people. Thankfully, I don’t need “human connection” because I can simulate “arson frog connection” with Arson Frog Dating Simulator 2!
Upon entering the empty restaurant, I am immediately captivated by Arson Frog’s magnificent eyes, like sparkling pools reflecting the stars of the night sky within them. My nervous energy slightly subdued after seeing Arson Frogs charming and welcoming Ninja Turtle smirk.
His rippling biceps helped distract from his miniscule nipples, and the bold decision to not wear a shirt to a fine, sit down candle dinner.
How this restaurant can afford two original copies of the Mona Lisa is beyond me, but her timeless beauty frames Arson Frogs majesty in an accidental symbiotic relationship that almost makes me jealous of what they share - attractiveness.
What I appreciate about Arson Frog is he doesn’t try to be something he’s not to impress me. He starts off with a nice hello, and doesn’t waste any time letting you know who he is, and what his passions are:
Arson. He loves arson; Finds it meditative and relaxing. That’s cool. I’m not really an “arson” guy myself. Never really committed to it outside of burning post-it notes with a magnifying glass and the sun in elementary school.
I tell him I’m not really interested in arson. He says “That’s fine”:
He does not look fine. He explains that’s his only passion in life, but it’s ok because he’s sure my “zest” will make up for it.
Being the lemon peel shavings level of zest I am, I agree with him.
He seems to relax and lets me know that it always pays to be zesty, adding the following clarification:
He claims he wants to tell me his “tales of epicness” one day. Hesitating slightly, I wonder how many of these tales center around arson, but still tentatively agree to listen to them at some point later. He agrees “maybe next time” which means I have secured myself a second date with this amorous amphibian!
He compliments my fiery, burning eyes and asks me to step out for a midnight stroll (oh god! It’s midnight already! I needed to be home to walk the dog an hour ago!). He doesn’t give me the option to say “No”. He knows it’s a yes. I know it’s a yes. We don’t need to pretend anymore.
Before we leave, Arson Frog gives me a one word descriptor of how he sees me based on first impressions:
Yes. Yes, Arson Frog. I am the Zest. I am the zest.
I led Arson Frog out of the restaurant and into the dimly lit street. He wraps his Stretch Armstrong arms around me, and pulls me into the alley near the restaurant.
“Wait”, he says, “If we are going to do this, there’s something you must know about me first.”
“Yeah, the arson thing? You like arson. It’s cool. I know.” I reply, running my tongue quickly over my dried lips in a poor attempt to moisturize them.
“N-no. Well I do love arson, but there’s something else.” He reaches into the back pocket of his baggy Ecko jeans and fastens something to his face.
“I just thought you should know.”
I grab Arson Frog, and pull him in for the wet lips kiss I had been preparing. As I pucker up, Arson Frog tosses a match into the nearby dumpster, the flames and heat coming off it perfectly mirroring our passion.
On second thought, it might be time to get outside again.
Recommend: I suppose. It’s a simple and harmless little joke game. The main premise is to date an Arsonist Frog. Recommend on concept alone, but don’t expect much “game”.
Replay Percentage Chance: 5% - We might have to play the first one though. (Edit, not sure if this is a sequel or not. The title image clearly shows the frog holding a “2”, but the title to the website seems to just be called “Arson Frog Dating Simulator”, so who knows what’s going on there)
Time Played: 15 minutes.
Sam’s Take:
What the fuck Skeeter.
Recommend:
Replay Percentage Chance: 3%
Time Played: 7 Minutes
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