Day 138 - Slots Mania

Nightmare Fuel, No Music, Arcade · 15 Sep 2024

Skeeter’s Take:

I don’t know what the hell is going on with Slots Mania. My best guess is this is another one of those free mobile app games that only exist to host parasitic ads.

Here’s what Slots Mania boasts about itself in it’s description:

Wow, those are some glowing reviews! “Best among a river of Slot games in the market”! Wow it better be amaz-

Huh. That doesn’t look like much. Oh well, at least Slots Mania provided a nifty list of features we can go through:

Slot Machine Casino Features:

1. Biggest Bonuses and Jackpots of any Slot Machine Casino Game

There is no bonus bar. If it calculates bonuses, it’s hidden.

2. FREE Coins

Technically correct. The game is free and costs nothing, so the free coins they give you in the free game are indeed free.

3. Progress Jackpot and collecting feature

There is no indicator that any progress is being tracked. In fact, the game doesn’t even tell you how much money you have at any time. One might think the below box would be the perfect spot to put a box of your total winnings, but instead, it just shows how much you won for the current spin:

I have no idea what a “collecting” feature is, but I sure didn’t see anything close to that during my play time.

4. Auto Spin and Manual Spin

Half-Correct. Auto Spin is a myth. Manual Spin does work.

While we are at it, we might as well debunk the other list as well:

“Awesome Slots Game, one of the best” - Hard disagree

“Best among a river of Slot games in the market” - Not even close. I could probably go to itch.io right now and pick a slots game at random and it will at very least track the amount of money I’ve earned. In fact, I’m going to do that now:

This is from a game called Slots Typescript Evolution Bootcamp Project Frequent Wins (What a name). The bottom left clearly shows your total amount of money, the center shows your winnings, and your current bet is in the bottom left. Boom, Slots Mania confirmed LIAR this trash is already better than it.

Recommend: “Awesome Slots Game, one of the best”

Replay Percentage Chance: “Best among a river of Slot games in the market”

Time Played: Played: 5 Minutes