Day 60 - Tiger
Shitpost, WTF, pee pee fart ·
Skeeter’s Take:
I only picked this game based on the majestic lumpy tiger in the thumbnail art. It was highly promising.
I mean, just look at this:
Turns out, there is no tiger in this game. There are only multi-colored flashing squares, and betting. If I wanted that, I would have clicked on a game called “Epilepsy Casino”, not “Tiger”.
Do not wait for Tiger, for tiger does not exist.
It cannot be the wind that shakes the mighty Oak.
It cannot be gentle rain that falls upon your face.
It cannot be the spring flower that pushes through the dark earth.
It cannot be the chuckling laughter of the mountain stream.
Do not weep for Tiger, weep for the tiger that could have been.
It cannot be the memory that dwells in the heart of those that knew Tiger.
It cannot be the shadow that dances on the edge of your vision.
It cannot be the wild goose that flies south at Autumn’s call and it cannot return at Summer rising.
It cannot be the stag on the wild hills way.
Tiger is just squares.
Therefore, the wise don’t play.
But rejoice at the return to Newgrounds.
Recommend: No
Replay Percentage Chance: 0%
Time Played: 2 Minutes
Sam’s Take:
Click the roll button, get a random amount of points. Spend 10 of those points on a random letter, hope for the 5 in 26 chance that you get a T, I, G, E, or R. Once you spend your points, back to clicking that button. Get all five and you win.
I’m pretty sure Skeeter and I have played over 200 Newgrounds games for our last review series. Almost every one was terrible. Early in these new reviews I posed a question, has our increase in positivity come from itch.io having better games on average, or have we just grown out of our edge-lord negativity phase?
It’s great to have confirmation that I’m the same cynical fuck that I was 7 years ago. Tiger is pee pee farts and Newgrounds is the pee pee hole.
Recommend: fart
Replay Percentage Chance: butt
Time Played: poop
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