Day 349 - T-Shrek 3D
Shitpost, Horror, WTF ·
Skeeter’s Take:
Listen, I know it’s day 946 or something but I’ve just now decided to mix up the formula.
I’m looking at the itch.io page for T-Shrek as we speak, and I think I can pretty accurately guess exactly what this game is and my feelings towards it without even playing it. I’m going to review the game first, then play the game and come back to see how accurate my review was.
[Commence Review]
Hey! Welcome back, Young Sheldon fans! You’re in luck because today’s game has literally nothing to do with Young Sheldon! Don’t worry, ol’ skeeter will give you your fix!
BAZINGA!
Somebody had to have enjoyed that, right? The real authentic Young Sheldon experience? (I have never seen the show)
Once upon a time, back in 2000 and one, Dreamworks revolutionized the animated scene with a little movie named Shrek. Little did they know they would unleash a meme hell that would reverberate eons into the future. I wish someone would have let me know.
Told me that there would be repercussions to seeing Shrek. I am now cursed with the knowledge that it’s a good movie, which makes me sad that everytime I see Shrek in a game we have to review, I know it will be a shit post. I love the Shrek meme, to an extent, but can we all admit it peaked with “Shrek gets spooked?”
Me and Sam have seen so many games with Shrek over the years, and I can’t say a single one has been what I could call “good”. Except for the Shrek 2 video game, that shit banged. Anyway, most of the time, the joke is “Look it’s Shrek!” and that just doesn’t carry for me. T-Shrek is no exception - the joke is “Look it’s Shrek” with the very common twist of “T-Posing”. I’m never sure if the characters in these kinds of games T-Pose because animation is hard, or if it’s because T-posing is also a meme. It’s quite hard to deduce.
The game is literally called “T-Shrek”, but that could have come after the game was completed, or it could have been visualized as a meme from the start. It is near impossible to deduce.
World doesn’t need explaining. Everything you need to know is right here:
Was there a door on the wall? You bet! And boy that was strange. The “Strange Atmosphere” does little to aid the gameplay, which is mostly just the player wandering around an unpopulated map as Shrek chases the player.
Going from one end of the map to the other, just to collect pizzas for some ambiguous reason. I think the reason is that Shrek really likes pizza and if you complete the full pizza, he eats it and stops T-posing and dances a disco groovy boogie.
To the naked eye, one might just barely make out that this game has a particular graphics style. Upon closer, colonoscopic inspection, one might make out that, yes this is in fact a PS1 graphics game:
Roll the dice on itch.io’s randomizer, and it seriously feels like 9/10 horror games that come up have PS1 graphics style. We’ve whined enough about the PS1 graphics fatigue in this project already, so I won’t retread old ground. I just had to mention it. Do you know who won’t be recommending this game?
Me
Recommend: No
Replay Percentage Chance: 0%
Time Played: 4 Hours
[End Review]
Well, I completed the game. The only things I have to add are that there is a nauseating warp effect on the edges of the screen, Shrek plays “All Star” extremely slowly as he gets near you, and that Shrek does not do a disco groovy boogie if you collect all the pizzas.
I AIN’T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHEEAAYAYYYED
Sam’s Take:
The accuracy of Skeeter’s review proves to me that after two years of reviewing games every single day, we have become superheroes. We can look at any game and without playing it, know exactly what it is about and how good it is.
Boring! Makes me wanna nappy nappy! Why do we make massive creative teams to roll out the same tripe every single year?
Hell yea, this is going to save me so much time.
Recommend: No
Replay Percentage Chance: 0%
Time Played: 5 Minutes
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