Day 330 - Hansen's Eyebrows Pinball
Pinball, WTF, Puzzle Game ·
Skeeter’s Take:
Overall, Hansen’s Eyebrows Pinball is pretty fun. It’s part pinball, part foosball. The goal is to get the pinball past the goalie. All the interactables are soccer related (or, in this case, “football” is probably more accurate). The tunnel is my favorite as it plays a fun little song, but I want to shout out the streaker.
Oh and the flippers are some guy’s eyebrows:
But none of this matters. What really matters is the high score screen/survey screen you get after you lose:
First of all, “Think you made it on the Scoreboard?”. You mean you aren’t going to tell me? I have to fill out this entire form and enter a contest, and wait to see if a free beer shows up on my porch? The prizes are hilariously 2000s. I love that they specify the television being a “Flat Screen”, as it was some kind of novelty. Plus, a shiny new CD!? That’s actually pretty hype, I’m not going to lie. I hope it’s a Sean Paul CD, and it better be shiny!
Recommend: Eh
Replay Percentage Chance: 0%
Time Played: 5 minutes
Sam’s Take:
I can’t believe that a pinball game is going to the top of my most baffling games list. First off, who the fuck is Hansen? I googled “hansen eyebrows soccer” and the first result is this game. The song that plays at the beginning won some sort of BBC poll…
So obviously I reverse image searched that picture and BAM! He’s an old soccer player and pundit. Great! One mystery solved. The next was the prize situation. Did anyone ever get a flat screen TV from this game?
Unfortunately, the website listed in the Newgrounds description is dead. Luckily we have The Wayback Machine. I started my search little too far in the future when the domain was being sold:
Eventually I found the website in its latest iteration, decayed by time as all great ruins are:
So what happened here? This band is not on Spotify (though a different band with the same name is). They were never famous. This song was not a hit (I can only find it on Discogs, where 3 people bought it, but two more people do want it).
So why is there a website, game, and ringtone for this thing? The Youtube video has 400 views and two comments. I got more views and comments than that when I reviewed a porn game for our old review site. Did they win that BBC award and think they could go all in and sell out on that? Who picked them up and did all this branding? Who got the deal with that mobile scam-lookin’ company? What the fuck is happening?
Did anyone get a flat screen TV?
HOW ARE THEY BIG ENOUGH TO HAVE A PINBALL GAME PRIZE SCHEME WHEN I CAN’T EVEN FIND RECORDS OF THEIR EXISTENCE?
Enjoy the only other song I can find by these guys. It fucking blows.
Recommend: No
Replay Percentage Chance: No
Time Played: No
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