Day 219 - Pokebitches: Gotta Kill Em All
Shooter, Shitpost, REDACTED ·
Skeeter’s Take:
I think it’s important for us to go back to Newgrounds every now and again to remind us of how far free online games have come since the early 2000s. Pokebitches: Gotta Kill Em All perfectly encapsulates the essence of early 2000s Newgrounds Flash games. Take a popular IP, Draw their characters in MS Paint, and make a game where you kill them by left clicking on the screen.
Pokebitches: Gotta Kill Them All put’s Pokemon (go figure) at the center of its torture focus.
Shoot Pikachu, throw a grenade at Charmander, tickle Squirtles taint. Who cares? You’re just here to live out some fantasy an edgy teen created because murder = funny and there doesn’t need to be another layer or even a real joke. That’s all this is. Click through and watch Pokemon die in various ways.
Maybe I’m being too harsh. As far as murder-centric edgy flash games from the early 2000s go, this one is pretty tame. And I sort of get it, when I was in Middle School, Happy Tree Friends was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen. This kid has probably grown a ton since this game was uploaded. Hell, they might be as old as me. Maybe they have a beautiful family with loving pets and they hope and pray that the embarrassing flash game they uploaded to newground 21 years ago never sees the light of day.
Or not.
Recommend: TRASH
Replay Percentage Chance: GARBO
Time Played: OSCAR THE GROUCH’S HOME
Sam’s Take:
This being made in 2024 really makes me think that the heavy increase in average quality compared to our 2016 reviews doesn’t have that much to do with the passage of time. There is something about Newgrounds that just inspires Paint-trash. Maybe it’s because it’s heyday was back in the flash era, whereas Itch.io came into popularity more recently, but Newgrounds really does maintain that middle-school animal-violence edgelord-vibe.
I liked the Jigglypuff that is supposed to be giving me the finger enough to try and make it those health bottles from Doom:
But it didn’t really survive the rescaleing/sprite conversion:
But I am keeping it anyway
Recommend: Nope
Replay Percentage Chance: Nope%
Time Played: What
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