Day 216 - JUMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP WITH ANIMALS
Platformer, Nightmare Fuel, Pee Pee Fart ·
Sam’s Take:
Jumpppppppppppppp With Animals is a game where you jump as a unicorn on the rainbow nothings. Until it is about a lizard struggling with the imminent extension of its enlarged brethren.
Until it is the live action remake of The Little Mermaid.
Until it is about a chick who has evolved to live on the only sun that somehow survived the supposed heat-death of the universe.
Until… uh…
Then we are at the end, except the end has a lizard, and the lizard can still jump.
Then we reach the true end… OR IS IT?!?!
Yes. It actually is. The one time the ending comes into question, there is no way forward.
How am I to take this game? Almost the same level reskinned five times, but every level has slightly different hit boxes. Half way through they introduce a double-jump. The objects to jump on vary wildly on a scale from literal to abstract objects. I’m afraid that this is one of the games I will remember five years after this project is done.
Jumppppppppppp With Animals was never a request.
It was a command.
Recommend: Yes, I’m sorry
Replay Percentage Chance: 1%
Time Played: 5 Minutes
Skeeter’s Take:
I’ll be honest, JUMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP WITH ANIMALS itself isn’t quite as interesting as the description from its itch.io page:
Grammar aside, I noticed the “o”s look kind of familiar.
It would appear that the description page uses a Disney type font. You might be asking “Who cares?” or “Why are you telling us this useless information?”
Well, the crux of this review teeters on one very important factor for me - that factor being “Is this person a child?” (I feel like we’ve been here before -ore -ore)
Here’s a screenshot of the first level of this game.
Do you see what I’m saying? There is so much ambiguity to who could have created this game. The thing is, if this was made by a child, I actually think it’s pretty impressive what they were able to accomplish. If it was made by an adult, I just can’t give them the same lee-way. I know it’s not fair and an adult could be at the very same starting space as a child, but I clearly have some bias I haven’t worked through yet. That being said, I give an exception if this was made for a kid by a parent - I think that would be very cute! However, I’d like to remind you of the spelling in the description…
This is why I bring up Disney Font. It’s yet another clue to who the individual is behind JUMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP WITH ANIMALS. I don’t know many people that would use Disney lettering for a game description with no Disney affiliation. The only ones that come to mind are millennial theatre kids, middle-aged women, and children.
I’m starting to connect the dots, I can almost see it now. I almost have a complete picture.
I’m just missing one crucial piece…
THE MISSING LINK - SPRUNKI.
I have collected the evidence. I have done the research. There isn’t possibly anything I could have overlooked or forgotten to take into account. I now have a final assessment:
And with that assessment I can finally give my review of JUMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP WITH ANIMALS.
Nice job, kid!
I liked that each level has its own animal and theme. That was fun. Shout out to the lizard level. That one was my favorite. Keep it up!
If by some miracle you are an adult, Big Dev, then I would like to formally apologize for ultimately coming to the conclusion that you must, with absolute certainty, be a child.
I’d still like to take a peek at that driver’s license just to be sure.
Recommend: Nice job, Kid!
Replay Percentage Chance: 0%
Time Played: Fortnite, Bitch
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