Day 103 - Zapped: Listen & Obey
Arcade, Disney Trash, Too Much With The Phone ·
Skeeter’s Take:
I’m loving/hating these corporate advertisement games that numuki.com seems to have archived (for better, or for worse). There’s something so indescribably soulless at the heart of all these games, and I find that fascinating.
Today’s Game, “Zapped: Listen and Obey” is no different, but somehow manages to squeeze every ounce of dirty grime from this already slimy idea.
I’ve never seen or heard of Zapped, and while I didn’t really watch Disney channel as a child, I’m thinking this show was made well after my time. My biggest indicator of this is a young Zendaya:
I’m assuming this must have been a show she worked on before launching into super-stardom. Hell, I’ve also always wondered how Ben Shapiro rose to popularity, but I guess that mystery is solved too:
Before we get into any “gameplay”, Zapped: Listen and Obey has a short backstory section that is not only as concerning as the title of the game itself, but also seems to have been written by some 50 year old dude who was sipping on plastic-bottle brandy at 3 AM the night before this “game” was released:
Zoey (played by Zendaya, I’m assuming) doesn’t like the stinky boys, she wants the cool boys. Thankfully, her super badass bedazzled pink smartphone comes with a magic app called “Listen and Obey” (no bad implications from that name), which allows her to shoot electroshock therapy orbs at all the gross-ew-gross boys in her school and forcefully change them into her idea of what a cool boy is - “more thoughtful, behaved, and better versions of themselves! We promise this is for their own good!”
In Zendaya’s school, there are only a couple variations of boys that roam the halls - we have:
There are probably a few different variations of the insipid “boy”, but I didn’t play past “Level 2” so this is what we got!
Thankfully, with the power of electro-shock therapy, Zendaya manages to transform these stinky boys into the ideal school partners! With her magic ability, the lame boys become cool - now we have:
Take that boys! Us cool girls aren’t going to tolerate you anymore! Instead, we are going to use magic and Bewitch this shizzle to make these boys more tolerable! I for one love to share a space with someone that’s always on the verge of vomiting!
For real though, this shit sucks. Not only is it another shitty Disney advertisement game that makes me feel dead inside, it sends an absolutely bizarre message that kind of makes me feel sad. Maybe Disney could electroshock me into recommending this, but I don’t know if Universal is going to let them rent the electric fence from Jurassic Park on such short notice…
Recommend: GARBAGE
Replay Percentage Chance: TRASH
Time Played: RUBBISH
Sam’s Take:
You click on people as they run by, hit them with a laser and that turns them into upstanding citizens. The subtitle is “listen & obey”, so please have your copy of 1984 at the ready. I feel bad that Skeeter’s been carrying the last few reviews, but I just can’t match his ability to write 15 paragraphs about early 2000s children’s TV spinoff trash.
There is one thing I can do that Skeeter can not though, and that is endure trash for an extended period of time. This is me trying to put a positive spin on the fact that I beat Zapped: Listen & Obey.
I think this is the best TV-slop game of the 3 we played this week. It’s not dogshit Pack-Man (pun intended) and it’s not Squelch-core Operation, so it’s more by default than anything.
Now I’m going to download Skeeter’s 9000 screenshots and upload them to GitHub, insert the captions, then copy paste this review onto my Visual Studio and upload it to the website. I’m doing this for Zapped: Listen & Obey.
Be honest Skeeter, is this revenge for the week of MadLibs reviews that I made you do for our last project?
Recommend: No
Replay Percentage Chance: >= 0%
Time Played: 10 Minutes
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